I took this photo while hiking with some friends at the Temescal Canyon Road National Park in the Santa Monica Mountains in Southern California. This is an interesting image for me.
This week I suffered an acute Asthma attack coupled with an ongoing Bronchitis condition. I guess after years of built up allergies my lungs reached a boiling point and I found myself struggling to take a breath. I was literally in tears because of what I was going through and also because it brought back a flood of unhappy memories. I don't think I've written in great detail about how I lost my mother, but many years ago I watched my mom take her last breath after suffering from lung cancer. Having not smoked a day in her life, it was a mystery to all of how she got it. While going through her radiation and chemo (knowing that the Doctors had already told her and us that it was an inoperable condition and she only had a few months to live) she never once complained and never once blamed god or anything. She was truly (and still is) an amazing person. I don't know how she did it. My condition was not thankfully fatal, but the experience of not being able to take a breath was so scary and it pains me to no end to remember what she went through and how much she suffered.
And for the record, I'm feeling better today after they gave me some treatments and some medications and I think I am over the worst part and heading toward full recovery.
I remembered this photo I took and some thoughts I had when seeing it for the first time and so after this recent health experience, I now felt compelled to finally write this story.
As one walks their own path in life, we do encounter many things. As this one person said in a show I saw once in Vegas (yes Vegas), life is like a delicate string. There are moments during your journey where parts in your string will break, but in the end and with our faith these breaks somehow finds its way to mend and can become whole again.
When I look at this photo, I can see the beautiful blue sky, but the trees and branches are blocking my view. But persevering and pushing through on the trail, we found daylight and an unobstructed view of the clear blue sky. My mother found her blue sky too ....
I wanted to thank Annie (Churches in Venice) for the idea to create a meme based upon the last entry I did about how I thought some photos are worth a thousand words. I thought it was a very cool idea. I have my Photo of the Month, My Travel Thoughts and my Music blog themes and I think My Photo Stories will be a beautiful blog addition. I had to change the name because the title was frankly someone else's quote and it was a tad too long for my theme logo. he, he. It is not a weekly meme for now like the PhotoHunt weekly meme I currently love participating in which was created by TnChick, but it might become one in the future. :) I just love the creativeness of blogs and the ability to share.
I'm so glad you're feeling better. I know that had to be scary! My PhotoStories is a great name (and the logo looks nice).
ReplyDeleteTake good care of yourself and have a nice relaxing weekend.
Hi Annie, thanks so much for your kind comments. I have to admit that it was scary...I'm so thankful for my doctor. She was so understanding and put up with my fears and tears. Wonderful bedside manners. She didn't allow me to leave until some of the treatments were giving me some breathing relief and immediately ordered the x-rays to rule out any phnemonia.
ReplyDeleteI feel a million times better today and am thankful to be on the road to recovery.
Thanks also for liking My PhotoStories name and logo.
I was just going to name it PhotoStories, but I didn't want to intrude and make it too similar to Tnchick's photohunt title. So just gave it a slight tweek with My in front.
I will most definitely be spending my entire weekend indoors, taking my medication and resting and reading my favorite blogs. :)
Thanks again so much for your kind words. Have a nice weekend too.
Kathy, I'm so sorry to read about how you lost your Mom. I wasn't aware that she died of lung cancer. I can only imagine how painful a time that must have been for your both.
ReplyDeleteAnd, as a fellow-sufferer of asthma, I've had attacks like your and I know how really horrible that feels when your chest closes up and you can barely breathe. The wheezing as your lungs try to work is a terrible feeling. I haven't had an attack like that in many years, thanks to the heavy daily medication I take.
I'm so glad to hear that you're feeling better, and I hope your asthma remains under control so you don't have another attack like.
Beautiful photo, although in this context I can't help thinking it looks a bit like a lung with all those branches like capillaries trying to carry oxygen out through the bloodstream.
Hi Sandra, thanks so much for your kind words. Yes, mom's passing was so difficult and although many years have passed I can still remember certain moments with such clarity.
ReplyDeleteI didn't realize that you suffer from asthma. I'm so sorry that you suffer from this and have had these kinds of attacks. I have had severe allergy attacks before, but this was the first time I have had an asthma attack. And for it to be this acute. I was not prepared.
I'm very glad to hear that you have your asthma under control with medication and have not had an attack for many years now. I hope that is the case for me too. I really don't want to go through that again. I will have to f/up with my Doctor if I begin to have any future signs of difficulty in breathing, knowing that now this kind of an impending attack could be coming.
And thinking about your comments about my photo, I think you are right. The branches on this tree does kind of remind me of the capillaries trying to carry oxygen out.
Thank you again Sandra for your kind words. Have a wonderful Sunday.
Oh Kathy, I haven't been around so I missed this post. I am glad to know that you are doing better. I knew that your mother had passed, but didn't know it was too cancer. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Take care and I look forward to following your photo stories.
ReplyDeleteHi Maya, thanks you so much for your kind words.... I am feeling a lot better although still laboring with my breathing but the treatments are working. Episodes like that makes me appreciate life so much more. I think now about how little we think about such everyday, every second things like breathing and how precious these gifts really are.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much.
Wow, Kathy, I missed this blog entry but I hope you are now recovered since your episode. My son in his younger years had asthma and I made middle of the night runs with him and his sister in the car. I know the physicality of the lack of breathe firsthand also. There are ways that life has a habit of reminding us to live each day fully. I know you must have some painful memories of your mom's health issues but these are memories that allow you to remember her - not just in times of need but also your bond to her. Thanks for sharing your feelings. On another matter, the idea of your PhotoStories is such a creative use of verbalizing feelings, memories, and events. Kudos to you for the idea! Stay on the road to recovery, and get planning another trip - you are way overdue!
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